Anna Lee is an artist, an activist, a milliner, and a badass woman who is a constant inspiration. She's incredibly thoughtful and it was an honor to hang out inside her brain for an afternoon while she spoke about art, change, and the role we play in it all.
Tell us about the Gray Matter Series.
The Gray Matter Series is about finding the space in the middle. This will be my third Gray Matter series of hats but I've also been doing a series of paintings. These multiple piece paintings are essentially a collective where each individual piece can stand on its own but it is connected ot the whole. Every single one looks different. Even though I've created multiple piece paintings in the past, the fifty piece painting inspired by the Law of Jante is really where it started. To quote Rumi to help explain, 'the drop is in the ocean but the ocean is in the drop.' So with the Gray Matter Series, it's all about recognizing that we're all in this together and we're all individuals with unique experiences. It's about starting conversations, not at the extremes, but in the space in the middle.
What are you working on now?
So with the sense of self, I'm exploring the different stages we go through as we fall apart and how we rebuild. We're all brought into the world with our family mind, our community mind, but in our lifetime we have to dismantle that essence of who we are as given by our family. I can't speak for everybody, but this is part of the investigation that I've been doing. So I decided to work on a short film.
It's showing this woman who's really working to have her shit together. And she's doing everything "right." But certain things start to disappear. And she tries to replace them. Eventually everything disappears so there's nothing. It does get replaced, but intentionally by twelve women to show that basically she's still herself but with more intensity. Because what she's done is let all the things go that aren't her and consciously rebuilt herself with the support of her community. She's been rebuilt from a place of inter-dependence.
What direction are you taking your art?
It's about creating talismans that are blessings. Art with function. But it's also a little esoteric and ethereal. I did a painting for a friend of mine who's trying to sell his building. And I thought, "maybe you need a vision of what's next." And a friend of mine is trying to find a place for her next business and I did a painting for her that's a sort of talisman so if she has any fears or doubts, she can come back to the painting to remember what's next.
I had a woman tell me, 'you know what you are? You're an animateur!' and I said, 'Wait. What's that?!' She said, 'it's someone who can bring something into being.' And I thought, 'well that's kind of it.' And what I'm trying to do with my art is help positive things come into being or healing or an energetic hug. That might sound a little hokey, but who doesn't need a good hug?!
Tell us about your process.
Well I just bought a new paintbrush because I was painting with my hands and I've been trying to work with primary colors as much as possible.
When did you start painting?
I started painting when I was in high school. I went to school for painting and I did portraiture. I just was making pretty pictures all the time and I didn't understand what I was going to do with pretty pictures. I would show my work in coffee shops in town and people liked it. I could draw pictures that generally looked like people so people liked it. But I didn't really understand abstract art until much later.
I had wanted to go into fashion so I was taking fashion classes at NDSU and art classes at MSU and I was having a really hard time combining them. So when I decided to take a break from school, I just moved to Minneapolis and started working. The rest is history. I stopped painting when I moved. And when I was getting ready to move back to Fargo, I started painting again and all these abstract paintings started to come out of me. And so here we are. I think there is a lot of power in letting go of what you think you should be to become what you are.
How has your art evolved?
It becomes more of that [letting go] and with that it brings up so many freaking fears. It's so scary. This current collection and just the core of my work, the concept of the heroine's journey, is really based on this desire to not be afraid of going deep within oneself. And trying to figure out what the tools are because when I was getting ready to launch my last collection I was dealing with some major imposter complex. The thing that helped me the most was being vulnerable and telling my friends what was going on. I would tell them 'Oh my god I'm feeling these things' and more often than not they'd respond, 'me too.' It didn't take away the bad feeling but it certainly helped me feel seen. And that changed everything.
I feel shitty but I feel stronger, which is huge. Now I'm trying to connect with some resources so I can help others. And I think a lot of it comes down to dismantling the patriarchy. The voices that tell us we're not good enough are cultural, they're not actually in our heads. They're programmed in our minds from all the messages we get, but they're not us. Within our culture right now, we're not encouraged do new things and be courageous even though it appears we're built on this concept of American exceptionalism.
So when we create new things, we're actually breaking out of whatever matrix that's been set up and if we can recognize those cultural voices are wrong, and we're all going through this, and say 'me too,' it transforms the pain and isolation. With my work, I want more things to be said and I want more people to connect so that we can create true change.
What do you think art's role is in changing communities/cultures?
The only way I can find the words is to make shapes first, to put colors together. We see things before we can say them. For me, being able to get something symbolic out before I can say it, really helps me connect to new concepts or new ways of being. Creating beauty helps people connect to difficult concepts. And now I'm understanding the role of beauty.
How do you break the rules in art?
With my hat making, I was always improvising. I didn't have an official teacher for years. I was involved in costume design and there's so much improv with that. I would try different sculptural techniques and figure it out based on what looked cool. There was a whole lot of experimentation but I didn't have the confidence until I went to a millinery conference in Australia and I realized, 'oh they do a lot of improv, too!' That's part of the beauty.
That's actually where I was when I had the idea for Gray Matter. I was working with some gray felt and the Philando Castile shooting had just happened. I was watching everything unfold and I was just so astounded at how there was any kind of argument about the tragedy. I was seeing tabloids in Australia with covers saying 'Civil War in America!' and I was like, 'what the hell?!' I was so frustrated and working with this gray felt and it just sorta started coming together. I wanted to do a series of gray hats to talk about the need for finding the space in the middle. In the middle are where the answers are and the healing and resolution.
What inspires you?
Music. So when I'm working on paintings, I have certain playlists that I listen to that have a certain energy.
I get inspired by emotions. My last collection I was standing at the edge of the ocean and I saw my sister and my niece, felt the ocean, and I just breathed it all in and I was like, 'I want to feel this again.' When I started Gray Matter it was this absolute frustration. It's been interesting to figure out how to use fashion and art as a tool. But because fashion has an infrastructure that isn't set up for that. And maybe I'm being a little dramatic... but I think that the shifts that are happening in the world are exciting because more voices are being heard.
Oh and water. Water is a huge inspiration for me.
Do you ever look back at old pieces and wish you could change them?
Funny you should mention that! I actually have a whole bunch of pieces here that are originally sketches from like twenty years ago that I've painted over. All of these [points] are just ongoing works of art that are from college and high school. I've been turning them into new art. Where it used to be realism it's now colors and shapes.
How has painting influenced your hat making?
I've actually been painting on some of the hats! I painted a feather on the side of a hat so I've been integrating everything. And I've got scarves made from paintings turned into fabrics. But then I have lipstick too. So it really becomes about creating a statement or collection. Paintings have really brought the emotion in, but understanding fashion has really given the framework for collections.
Where do you want to go?
I want my work to be integrated within positive change. I would love for my paintings to be interactive, to spark new conversations. My goal would then be to work with my art to work with other people. I don't want to just put work out there. Some of that means going with my gut in certain things. Part of it is my age, and part of it is doing a lot of investigation. I do really appreciate that I have my clients who keep me connected to my industry, but I would love to just focus on my art. As a creative person it's a constant evolution because you want to do this thing or that thing... but I pay attention to the things that I keep coming back to and building on that as my core.
See more of Anna’s work here: